My photo
I love, I laugh; as a mother, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sibling, a friend. I change. I volunteer. I make a difference. I make things happen. I get lazy; then way to high strung. I stay up all night, and pay the next day. I piss people off. I make people love. I believe in fate. and karma. I laugh at myself. I've even been called an "angel"... more than once. I've been rocked to my core by angels among us. I am a journalist for our small town newspapers, including the Muskego Chronicle, the Hales Corners Citizen, and the Franklin Citizen; I love writing for our chicken-soup-for-the-small-town-soul publications! I am right where I want to be. I am 34, and proud of my age (every birthday is another gift); the greatest thing I have done is contribute the beauty that my clone-like daughter Sophia has to offer. She is my legacy. I am a total mama’s girl; always have been, always will be. I have a Black-Irish bond (unbreakable) with my siblings. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have never been insecure, not once. I love people; but prefer kids to adults. I am not the least bit judgmental; but can hold a grudge to my grave. I follow my heart more than my head. Intentionally.

Monday, June 8, 2009

“It’s Never To Late to Become What You Might Have Been…”

Blah, blah, blah is what my ordinary response would be to such a statement. Not this morning. On very little sleep, I feel like a prisoner of war who was forced to drink life’s turpentine straight-up; I am absolutely burning on fumes; but my optimistic side is grateful to maintain momentum, even if from toxic fumes. My Black-Irish inner cynic reminds me that the only thing we know for sure is that in the end, the world will break you heart. Nevertheless, I flip the TV on a few minutes after 7am, and instead of going to the Today Show, I watch the last 20 minutes of Away From Her. Out-of-character and reason being; the profound wisdom I hear before I have a chance to flip the channel. I find melancholy inner-peace, but at least its peace; a feeling I am growing more accustomed to lately. So I felt the need to share these words; in the hopes that they may lend the same inspiration to at least one other person who needs something to get through today.

“Sometimes you have to make a decision to just be happy; just decide.”

“There’s a man with a broken heart; broken in a million pieces.”

“(I am thinking) you never know how things are going to turn out; you almost know, but you can never be quite sure.”

“Things are not ever what you hoped they’d be; for anybody; not ever. The only thing that separates one person from another is; there are those who stay angry, and there are those who accept what comes their way.”

So for what its worth, I suggest not seeing life through rose-colored glasses; because I promise you, life is hard; your heart will break, your love will be lost, and you will be disappointed by the person you least expect. The sooner you accept, and expect this part of life, the less it may hurt. Shock is the sharpest kind of emotional cut; and it scars. But if you don’t continue to risk your heart, I promise you will never know happiness. To keep one eye open to reality, and one eye closed to cynical anger is no easy feat; but nothing good comes easy. With an upbringing some may consider a little deep-south-and-down-home; I was instilled with a few life lessons I take to heart; the first, cowgirls don’t cry, almost never; the second, ride without worrying about the fall; don’t think about the fall, focus only on the ride itself, like nothing else exists in that moment. So proceeding scarred, bruised, and broken; both in the hypothetical and literal sense; I highly recommend at some point, when your heart and your head are in sync for whatever reason, you close both eyes, grab someone’s hand, jump, and ride the fury of life’s passions, with little regard for the outcome. Just know it may end in tears, tragedy, or triumph; either way, a risk much too risky not to take. One of these times, we just may get it right.

No comments:

Blog Archive