The Secrets of Women Revealed

Everything you need to know to keep a woman in love
(Or at least, make her like you)

• Force leads to resistance, every time.
• She will believe in you as much as you believe in yourself.
• All women want a knight in shining armor to rescue them, even the liberals.
• Women need to talk more than men, please listen, if she loses her listening ear, you risk losing her.
• Answer the phone when she calls, the exception to the rule is if you are working. Don’t ever hit ignore.
• Don’t text message or email flirt, that is still considered infidelity.
• Don’t hide your cell phone. We all know what that means.
• Don’t lie; sparing her feelings is not an excuse.
• If you love her, let he meet your mom.
• Ask her opinion, even if she’s not an expert.
• Know what her favorite candy bar is, next time you get gas, buy one.
• Know what her grandparents names are (or were), even if they were gone before you were in the picture.
• Know how to spell her middle name and why she has it.
• If she is sad or mad pull her tight into the warmth and safety of your arms and don’t say a word, especially if its you she’s mad at.
• Understand PMS, may stand for “Potential Murder Suspect”. Cut us some slack, we hate it as much as you do, if not more.
• Don’t flirt with her friends, ever. Enough said.

• Know that political party=moral fiber.
  • Admit when you’re wrong and learn the power in apologizing.
  • If you don’t understand why she is behaving a certain way, look at her and simply say, “I don’t understand”.
  • Tell her every nice thing you say about her to your friends, and the nice things your friends say about her.
  • Teach her the essential elements of football and how to shoot a mean game of pool.
  • Check her oil.
  • Give space. Get space. Enough said.
  • When you take her on a date, don’t let your eyes wander when she is talking.
  • Leave love notes.
  • Last and most important, if she looks you in the eye and says she thinks you are the most beautiful man God ever made, believe her. Remember love is blind, and she really believes you are that and more.